An important conversation to have…


QUESTION:

 

Hello,

My girlfriend wants to get married and I love her to death, however, she is older than me (I am 30, she is 36) and wants a child within two years. I do not know if I will be ready by then since there is still a lot I would rather do, especially if we are recently married, before children come into the picture. Also, it scares me to think about her being a mother at 40 and us being limited to perhaps only one child. Should I pursue this relationship if I don’t feel ready for giving her what she wants when she wants it? Or should I just commit to having kids, since I do want them inevitably…just in a few more years (four to five)?

Thanks,

JC

ANSWER:

In my opinion what is important is that you both want kids. The timing may not be perfect, but that might not be a big deal. It’s definitely a conversation that you should be having together. I would suggest premarital counseling as an avenue that would help you all have that conversation. You are at an age where having kids should probably be your focus more than yourself so it’s not unreasonable to have them sooner than later.

Doc David
http://www.DavidSimonsen.net

2 thoughts on “An important conversation to have…

  1. As a woman, I can only state the truth. I knew when it felt right for me to have children and we discussed it and went with it. Now 28 years later I don’t regret a moment of it. I am happy to have been lucky enough to have them.

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