My Dad had a child with his first wife and two with his second wife (my mom). We are writing his obituary. My mom has horrible relations with his ex and strained relations with his first daughter. We can’t seem to agree on a good way to include the first daughter in the obituary. My mom wants it to be clear that she is not her daughter. I don’t want the obituary to further alienate her from our family. Any suggestions?
All these people involved have one thing in common. They all cared for your father to one degree or another. That is what the focus should be not some hurt from years ago that one person has been unable to get over. I would simply say something along the lines of “…survived by ___ children and ____ grandchildren.” If your mother can’t get over that then she has some serious bitterness issues she needs to deal with.