An opportunity to teach…


 

QUESTION:

My daughter is turning 3 in a few months and she’s starting to catch on to things quicker than I thought she would. To start from the beginning her mother and I met when we were 19 and were madly in love for nearly 4 years but things didn’t work out near the end and ww ended going our own ways. Shortly after our break up we found out she was pregnant. So we tried to make it work again but we couldn’t, though I was by her side all the way thru the pregnancy as and the first few months. Since then I have been they’re throughout everything and we have both moved on to new relationships. She’s grown up very quickly and even though we can’t carry on full complicated conversations with her I’m worried I won’t exactly be able to explain why I’m not with her mom like her friends parents. Or (if I marry my current girlfriend and have children) why she has half siblings and am married to her? How should I go about explaining such a thing??

 

ANSWER:

I think it depends on what your current beliefs are now. If you think it’s okay to be divorced and have moved on then you let her know that in a way that a child can understand. If you think getting divorced is not a good idea and pre-marital sex is not a good idea then you explain it to her in that way as well. You could also simply change the subject when she brings it up. There are going to be questions which I think is fine. The thing you don’t want to do is lie. Talk as honest as you can based on her age while also remembering what your values are now. This is an opportunity for you to teach not be scared.

Doc David

www.DavidSimonsen.net

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