These choices have consequences…


QUESTION:

 

Hello I don’t know if this is something if you can help me with or not.  My daughter lives with 2 other roommates about an hr away.  These roommates are from when she was attending college.  She no longer attends college (she used the money she was supposed to pay for a semester on who knows what, she says she cant remember) and has no car, hers broke down, just got let go from a temporary job because of no doing of her own(so she says) says she has no way of getting a new job because of no car.  I do not pay any of her bills.  I don’t want to see her sink any further in her life, I just want her to realize that her decisions can produce bad outcomes.  I’m just wondering if the best advice is to give her another chance in life and get her a car to help her out finding a job or do nothing at all.  It seems doing nothing at all hasn’t worked and like I said, I don’t want her to sink down any further where she is in a hole and can’t get out.  Any advice would be appreciated.  Thanks and have a great day

 

ANSWER:

I agree that choices have consequences. She is fully experiencing them. If you do choose to help her, you need to go into it with some up front agreements with her that you will stick with. If she is not willing to do anything different then you need to be able to stop doing whatever you do to support her. I have a feeling that she is hoping you save her so she can continue making poor choices. Anything you help her with needs to be attached to certain expectations. If you are able to do that then sure feel free to help her.

Doc David

www.DavidSimonsen.net

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