Adults can make foolish choices…


QUESTION:

I am at loggerheads with my husband on how to deal with daughter.  She is obsessed with being slim.  She is now taking dexamphetamines, which she claims she needs for study.  She is also smoking and drinking to excess.  We have also discovered she has been using our credit card to pay for these specialist consultations and drugs.   “I am twenty, an adult, and have everything in control.”, is her catch call. I am worried sick.  She is moody aggressive and just plain nasty.  I have got to the stage I cannot look at her without saying something.  My husband always defends her,  so I am always the one shooting the bullets.   I do think she has a problem, and “may”  get out of hand.  She is also the most amazing pathological liar.   I have now cut off all help.  If she needs to go to the Dr, she needs to pay for the appt herself.   I will not pay any specialist fees so she can get more drugs.  How should I handle this issue.

ANSWER:

I think the problem you face is that she is an adult. Adults can choose to do what they like even if it is something that will kill them. I think that you should stop any type of financial support for her as it only enables her. It is unfortunate that your husband is unwilling to examine her behavior more closely. I wonder what his investment is in it? It seems you are handling the issue in a good way. One thing you could do is gather some information for your husband to see. This could help him get more clarity on the behavior that your daughter is exhibiting.

David

www.DocDavid.net

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