Hello, I’m looking for some advice about my MIL. A little back story: My husband and I have been married for 4 years and we have been together for 8. From the beginning MIL and I had a rocky relationship ( I wasn’t good enough for her son, the usual)I have always, to my best ability tried to be polite. I did lose my temper once when she screamed “go to hell!” at me in the middle of a crowded restaurant, on my husbands birthday… because I wasn’t being happy enough ( I had just come from a visit with my father who was dying of Parkinson’s/Cancer and it was the first time he had forgotten who I was) With that said she has always been a roller coaster of emotions so it was easy to get sucked back in because when she is in a nice and happy mood she is really fun to be around. Unfortunately I have now come to a point where the past verbal and emotional abuse is just too much to handle. I’m pretty sure she is bipolar but honestly that isn’t enough of an excuse to let the past go. On top of all of this my husband and I have recently run our credit reports and found many opened maxed out credit cards on his report that have been delinquent for quite some time. At first we thought a stranger stole his identity but we eventually learned that it was his mother. We are now unable to get a house or any new credit because of what she has done. The total credit card debt is $17,000. We also found out that she is the policy holder of his life insurance and that she took a loan out against his policy totaling $7,000. The relationship she has had with my husband has also been very rocky stemming from problems that arose during the divorce of his parents. As of right now I have no interest in speaking with her or seeing her and the thought of her even being around my future children actually sickens me. Neither of us trust her. I just feel like I am expected to basically keep quite and deal with it because it’s his mother therefore his responsibility to talk about it… but when he doesn’t want to deal with it ( he would rather just ignore her entirely) and I obviously cannot talk to her what am I supposed to do? I hate feeling this way and any advice is truly appreciated.. thank you
What she has done is actually a crime. Now are you going to report it? I’m not sure what statute it would be but it seems like she has perpetrated fraud or at least stolen your identity. This in my opinion is unacceptable even if she is family. This not only prevents you all from being able to be successful in the future, but it also endangers your current or future children. You should sit with your husband and talk this through with him in a clear non emotional manner. If you are unable then I think you should get with a third non-biased party to come up with a plan. You can’t simply just let things continue to go as they have been. She will continue to commit fraud. If you have to see her in social settings I would suggest making it as short as possible and as polite as possible. If you have children I would keep time with her supervised. If she was willing to steal the identity of the man she gave birth to then what would she be willing to do to her grandchildren?