He’s trying to tell you something…


QUESTION:

 

Hi, I really don’t understand how to tell if I’m experiencing verbal abuse. My husband tells me often that I need to lighten up. That I worry too much and he can’t enjoy the positive aspects of me because that ruins everything. He also just seems to be annoyed by me and never compliments me. I ask why he is with me and he just says that I’m a nice person.
My parents neglected me and my husband grew up in a physically abusive home. I really don’t understand what a healthy relationship is, but many people outside of my marriage have told me its verbally abusive.
Within the last few days he has started telling me that he doesn’t love me, that its not possible to love me because of my flaws. I really need help with figuring out if I’m crazy or not. Please give me some guidance. Thanks.

 

 

ANSWER:

 

What you describe doesn’t seem to rise to the level of verbal abuse. It seems to indicate that he tries to tell you something about the relationship from his perspective and you don’t listen? I would point out that he probably has flaws that are hard to live with as well so this isn’t just about you. If he has made you believe this then I would deal with that. I would suggest you seek out a therapist to help you with communication and marital issues.

Doc David

www.docdavid.net

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