Deal with your home first…



Things between my boyfriend and I have gotten pretty bad lately. He broke up with me about four weeks ago, and we got back together after only three days. It was completely out of the blue, and was exactly one week after we had sex for the first time. We’d already fooled around and stuff before hand, but now, after getting back with him, I don’t know if I still love him. I mean, I’m still incredibly sexually attracted to him, and ever time we were together, we’d end up fooling around. We decided to put sex on hold for a while. I am still attracted to him, but I don’t know if I love him. We’ve been together 5 months so I wonder is it just the honeymoon period fading away? We’ve talked about it a few times, how confused I am. And we’ve now decided to completely stop our sexual relationship, we are still going to be exclusive to each other, and kiss and stuff, but we’re not going to fool around or anything, just for a few weeks, until I figure this out. I don’t want the only reason I’m with him to be the sexual fulfillment. We’re both 17, and if we were to break up I’d want us to remain good friends, and he wants the same, but I’m afraid it mightn’t be possible. I know I’d miss him if I broke up with him. I love the hugging, the kissing, the security, I love everything about him, his smile, his smell, his touch. I love him. But I don’t know if I’m IN love with him. Is this reasonable after what happened? Should I give it a little more time and let myself fall again? I know he loves me. He’d do anything to make me happy and he says he will wait for me until I fall in love again. Do you think its possible for me to be happy again?



This isn’t love it’s more about hormones and lust. I think you nailed it when you stated that you love the “security”. That boils it down to what is going on with you. So this is much more about you and issues you have related to insecurity than anything else. I’m not sure what your home life is like, but if it isn’t the greatest then you should deal with that before you get involved in a relationship to solve pain in your life. If you do this then you will have more relationships that start out great, but then tend to get troubling. If you do this a lot then you get into a pattern that will be hard to break out of. While this guy might be great, life is about you making sure you are okay. If you are not then you need to talk to someone about family challenges. To ignore them now will be to invite years of bad choices.

Dr.  Dave

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