It’s a deal-breaker…


Question:

My mother in-law has been horrible to me since my fiance and I got engaged. While we were dating she liked me just fine. We actually got along great until she attended a bridal show with me. Shortly after she began to act cold towards me then it got progressively worse and worse. At Christmas she was rude as soon as I started to chime into a conversation she would cut me off mid sentence then change the subject. Her neighbors then came over and she introduced his daughter as the daughter she never had and how much she loved her and all the fun they had together in excess. She honestly went on and on for half an hour about how great her new “daughter” is. The next time I saw her she completely ignored me the only time she acknowledged me was to through a jab or make a comment about how cheap my wedding was going to look and my fiance said nothing. She the contacted his griend the bestman for our wedding and told him how awful I am but when he asked why she disliked me so much she couldn’t come up with a reason. She did the samething to his aunts. She finally wentso far over the line that I stopped speaking to her. She sent hom an email where she had copied his child’s mothers facebook page. She noted the changed relationship status and a post she had made about the break up and at the bottom of the email she wrote here’s your chance. We have gotten advice from family and other officials all of which have told him it is his place to address this problem. They all have reminded both of us that once married you leave your father and mother and cleave to your wife and he still won’t stand up for me. She will come to our house crying saying that I’m mean and won’t speak to her. That’s another game she plays. She will call him and say she wants to be involved with wedding planning but, when my mother or I open the door and reach out for her to help she says she needs to talk to timothy (my fiance) and then hangs up. She then calls my fiance crying saying that my mom and I won’t include her. I’m not saying crying as in she is whining I mean she is full blown blubbering. He then tells me I need to sit down and talk to her. I’m absolutely tired of it. How do I get him to man up and defend me? To see what his mother is doing and be a husband? I’m on the fence about marrying him now I truly do not want to spend the rest of my life dealing with this woman. My grandmother acted like this towards my father and eventually used me against me. What can I do?

Answer:

This is a deal breaker in my opinion. If he is not willing/able to stand up to his mother and she is treating you this way then he and you SHOULD NOT be getting married. If things are like this now, what do you think this will be like when you are married? It’s not like he is all of a sudden going to stand up to her. Once married there will be the family events you HAVE TO attend. What happens when kids come along. This doesn’t mean you can’t marry him. It means you should probably hold off until he can get his stuff figured out or you find someone else that has a healthy relationship with their mother. I know this is a difficult choice, but this is the rest of your life we are talking about not some week long hiking trip in the woods. Please let me know what you decide I am very interested.

David

http://www.help4life.net

Make yourself heard!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s