Parents actually ARE useful…


QUESTION:

 

First off… I’m only 15 years old getting ready to enter a great IB high school. Since the beginning of seventh grade summer I’ve been friends with a 16 year old guy I met online at an anime site who lives in another country. When we first met, he was very charming and flattering and we would talk about lots of things and we were only friends…with benefits. One day he had introduced me to role-playing and every now and then it would come up. Soon we started skyping, calling each other and using Skype video and we grew closer and a little more intimate. We planned to meet each other once we were old enough and spending a year in Japan as we were both interested in Japanese culture. Everything seemed pretty clear since I was fluent in Japanese and he had a lot of money. Plus when my twin died I was a little more fond of him. And when he lost his father I was there for him to calm him down. Gullible me actually loves this guy and we’ve been through a lot of breakups. A lot of times I would find out he was with other girls (which was expected but I loved him so it did hurt)we would argue for a bit but not long afterwards we would makeup and just recently about a few months ago I decided to disappear.. I was stressed and emotionally tired and tired of hiding our relationship from my parents who are very legalistic and religious. But then I came back to find him cheating ….again. The things he did with girls was outrageous and I was a little scared. He told me he freaked out when I disappeared and didn’t know what to do without me and that he needed something to occupy his mind to distract him from the pain(my thoughts: so you decided to get with more girls??)..and that all he had to was  just wait for me and continued to apologize. I knew all of these were excuses and more importantly they were lies but all I said was It’s fine.Then he got extremely angry with me and told me stop effing saying its fine when things aren’t. Eventually we made up again, well i should say we aren’t arguing anymore but he’s still waiting for me to take him back. I would break up with him but he’s got my pictures and my conversations with him and my first name and one of my emails.My academic life is in danger, but I guess I can’t blame him. I don’t know if he will be angry if I leave him. He always threatens to kill himself when I try to leave him and tells me there’s no point in living if he’s going to lose the only good thing in his life(supposedly me),and he starts to bring up his father’s death and how I’m the only thing to live for, but I know its all a trick to get me to stay yet it works sometimes. He’s not really angry, I don’t think. I just want to get away from him, but if i leave he could seriously ruin my life. So now I’m wondering why he wants me so much when he’s got other girls who do much more with him. And I’m wondering how can I get away from him.

ANSWER:

 

First off you are not in love this is a highly dysfunctional relationship you are in. You are being used and should get out of it. Secondly, whether you agree with your parents or not doesn’t matter, they are there to protect you and if you are keeping secrets from them how can they protect you? You should come clean about this boy and let them know that you want him out of your life, but he is making threats. They should then step in and help you. It doesn’t mean you have to be religious etc… It does mean that you have to communicate with them a bit more. While they may be irritating to you, they love you and want to help you most likely. If he chooses to kill himself that is on him not you. You can’t change him or stop him from making foolish choices. He has shown you that over and over.

David

http://www.help4life.net

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