Marry your best friend…


  QUESTION:

Hello David,

My name is Allena. Im 19 yrs old and Iv’e been blessed with a bestfriend i have known since kindergarden, his name is Taylor (also 19). Growing up we just got closer and closer and did everything together. We never really dated though mainly because we were in relationships with other people. After we graduated from high school together we had even more time to spend together and it was awesome. We didnt mind spending every day together as long as we were next to eachother. We could be open with eachother so easily. Taylor would tell me how much he loved me as a person and how I could always make his day.

All our friends would ask” why dont yall just go out?” or “you know that boy would do anything for you right?” and i would agree cause i felt the same way, but i just didnt want a relatioship..especially with my bestfriend. I guess i felt like i didnt wanna risk it. How stupid was I.
Recently, Taylor started dating an old friend of ours named Britt. I was soo happy for him! I thought” Finally! This guy deserves some lovin!” But unfortunatly i realized yea thats just it. Britt is lazy, has no job,shes selfish and expects Tay to buy her everything! She bitches all the time and doesnt like it when Taylor is out with is friends. She cant even stand when we are alone. Just not somebody that I see clicking right with Tay.

I felt like this was reasonable, I mean, I wouldnt want my boyfriend hanging out with some chick all the time but maybe it would be diffrent if this chick knew him since diaper hood!
So i tried hanging out and accepting her. Us 3 would hang out and do alot of things together. They are together all the time so i only get to see Tay if i hang with Britt. But i cant stand it. She walks all over me and if it doesnt go her way shes upset with the WORLD. I wouldnt ever wanna make Tay feel as if he had to choose So today, I went ahead and told Taylor how i felt. I told him that i Cant do it anymore and if he wants to hang out with me to just let me know but i dont wanna put up with the crap i dont need to take. I told him that hes parting from everyone only for vagina, that I cant be mad at him about it either. I also told him it was ALL MY FAULT. His reply was ” you know the worst part is that your right and i feel the same way.” and i havent heard from him since.

David, im feeling so upset. I feel like all this is my fault. I feel like i made the mistake of not giving Tay a shot..even though..i already know he would give me the world. I know I could make him just as happy, i feel the motivation to make sure this mans day goes as smoothly as i can make possible. But is it because he’s with another chick? or is this real? I feel so sad because i know i wont be seeing him as much but we both have power over that. I just want whats best but i feel whats best..is me. ='( if its too late, what else is there for me to do?

   

ANSWER:

I think one of the best ways to start a romantic relationship is with someone who is your best friend. Obviously I’m biased because I married my best friend. I think you are still young and chances are this friend will not have this GF long-term. You have two choices. You can maintain the close friend relationship and not say anything about your feelings. The other choice is you can take a chance and let him know how you feel about him and then see what happens. Life is about choices. I can’t make the choice for you. You have to decide knowing yourself and your best friend. I believe this relationship won’t last if what you say is true about her selfishness. He didn’t realize what he had in you and that’s probably because you didn’t realize what you had in him.
David
http://www.help4life.net

 

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