If you choose it you should tolerate it…


QUESTION:

My boyfriend and I recently got back together for the fourth time. I know that right off the bat that seems unhealthy but read the rest. The first few times were due to misunderstandings concerning health and our relationships with friends. but after this last time I realized something, it was the fact that he snaps to these decisions really quickly without ever thinking them all the way through. Honestly I don’t know what to do or what to think about it. I love him allot and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. but sometimes he’s so irrational and quick to make decisions that hurt both of us, I’m not sure if he’s emotionally stable. what are your thoughts on it? P.S Aside from these few times, we have a healthy relationship and fights are generally very natural things that we talk through.

ANSWER:

Valerie, If you have made up your mind to spend the rest of your life with him then this is something you have to tolerate. Now if you change your decision to “…I possibbly want to spend the rest of my life with him.” Then that is much different. If he knows that you see this as a potential deal breaker and that you would like him to talk to someone to help him come up with strategies that would be important. Then you can see if he values your opinion or not. If he doesn’t value it he won’t get help to come up with strategies. If he does value it, he will be making an appt with someone in the next few weeks. I wouldn’t go past this issue lightly. This is potentially the rest of your life we are talking about. I don’t think love will overlook it that long.

David

www.help4life.net

 

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