The kids want a mommy not a half-sibling…


  QUESTION:Hello David! I don’t know if you can give me some advice or not, but here goes. My ex husband and I haven’t been together in 8 years, we have 2 kids together that live with him-in a diffrent state. I started dating about 2 yrs.after we split and in about 10 days, I’m about to marry that man. My ex doesn’t like him and and lets me know that ever chance he gets, and refuses to have our boys have ANYTHING to do with him. Well, my soon-to-be- hubby and I just found out we’re expecting. I want to be able to tell my kids since this baby will be their half brother or sister, but I don’t know how to go about it-what to say, how to say it.. and I’m worried my ex won’t let them have anything to do with the new baby because of my new hubby. Any advice? 😦
   ANSWER:

Why bother those young children with what is happening in your love life? From what you describe you don’t see them very often and they have lives that may be fairly stable. They have already probably felt some abandonment issues and now giving them information that mom has new kids would only make them have more issues. I would suggest waiting until they are much more mature. They could be stable right now and your giving them this information could bring up hurt from the past. Wait…
David
www.help4life.net 

5 thoughts on “The kids want a mommy not a half-sibling…

  1. What a terrible answer. No matter how frequently she sees her two boys they need to know she’s going to be having another child. How much worse would it be to come for a visit and see her either A) very pregnant or B) finding out there’s suddenly a baby on a visit. How much more damaging is that? That would just scream that they are not important and since you have no other information about this families situation you shouldn’t be judging or supposing there are abandonment issues. YOU DON’T KNOW.
    She should probably wait until after the wedding and first trimester and then on a visit depending on how frequently she sees them let them know or if a visit won’t happen for a bit on the phone or skype. She should try not to be too excited sounding but positive still.
    And her love life has to be involved you dolt. He’s about to become her HUSBAND. You know that legally binding contract of a joining of lives and family? Ever heard of it?

  2. Also, I am the product of divorce where I lived with mmy Dad and my Mom moved on. I know what I’m talking about. We were even 5 hours away.

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