I think it’s kinda creepy…


  QUESTION:


I’ve been dating this guy for about six months and I’ve noticed a reoccurring trend. For some reason he seems to deliberately misunderstands everything I say! I know men and women communicate differently; however he has a tendency to interject his own insecurities onto my dialogue. For example,

If I say: “Okay see you on Sunday!”

He will respond: “What! You don’t want to talk to me until Sunday. Gosh! Fine I wont speak to you!”

If I say: “I don’t have the phone number right now, I’ll send it to you tonight”

He will respond: “Well fine! Don’t give me the phone number. I see how it is. You just don’t want to give me the number.”

If I say: “Oops! I’m late for work now and I gotta run.”

He will respond: “What! Work is more important than spending to with me. You don’t like me. Fine I wont bother you.”

The result is that I feel really really confused. Are we having a communication problem or is he secretly trying to control or manipulate me. I feel like everything I say is wrong. I ALWAYS end up apologizing for what I’ve said.

He makes me feel as though its ALL my fault that I can’t explain/say things correctly. Even when I say simple things like: “I going to hang out with my friend Anna.” He with misenterpret this to mean that I like Anna more than him.

Sometimes, I feel exhausted after speaking to him. All I do, is explain and explain and explain myself over and over again. He always finds some “hidden” message in everything I say and reacts by becoming hostile.

Please tell me what’s going on. I’m not happy with the situation and I’m constantly appeasing his insecure emotions. Is this guy controlled or am I reading too much into the situation?

  ANSWER:

You are not reading too much into things. This is a red flag that you should pay very close attention to. My first impression is that this guy is very passive-aggressive. It’s not a trait you want to have in a significant other. I would suggest that you encourage him to seek someone out to help him figure out why he does this manipulation thing. Until he does I would encourage you to stop dating him. To be honest, as you described it I was thinking it seems kind of creepy. If you want this creepiness in your life then do nothing different. Otherwise do what I suggest and you will see if he is someone you want to be with long-term.

David
www.help4life.net

 

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