I have been having a worry and stressful time with issues that has come about after I got married about 3 years ago. My sister has been diagnosed with depression and lives with my parents. I visit them once a week to catch up. My wife feels she is not welcomed and has not been coming to visit since she got hurt from what they said to me and being to honest I told my wife what they said. Since then she is hurt and wanted them to apologise, but my parents think they didn’t do anything wrong. I go visit my parents by myself since then and each visit I make, I feel tensed because sometimes my Mum brings up questions like why she not come to visit and just the other day I said I will be going for a two week holiday with my wife to visit her Mum and she got furious and said she is not happy. I don’t know what to do and I feel really exhausted as the problem is always there and I don’t know what to do. My sister is also a big part of the stress as she spends her day at home doing nothing. She is very timid and anti-social and does not do anything to help herself get better. I get tired of talking to her and saying the same things like for her to seek help or find herself a hobbie to get out and socialise if she wants to get better. I am out of ideas and don’t know what to do to help both of them. Please help.
Your focus is supposed to be your wife. I get that you love your parents, but you know if they hurt her or not. They probably did and you tried to smooth things over at the expense of your wife. Your visits to them is bringing tension to your marriage. If you don’t really focus on protecting your wife your marriage will not last for the long-term. You need to stop being a mama’s boy and stand up for your wife. Your parents may be shocked, but if they love you they will do what they need to do in order to stay in a relationship with you. I also get that you love your sister, but she needs help that you can’t provide as well.