They are just cousins why let them bother you…


QUESTION:

Hi David,
I need help in regards to my cousins. I’ll start my story from scratch.
I have two cousins, whom are sisters, and they’re the most self-fish/rude people in the world.
Every birthday they had as a kid, my parents always bought them gifts, even when they didn’t have parties. We’ve even been to their weddings and got them expensive gifts. They’re now married and have a baby each. They don’t ever visit us or ever call us. When it’s myself, my brothers or my parents birthday, they just send us a text message- no cards or gifts, unless we have a ‘party’.
Last year when it was my cousin’s 30th birthday, although she didn’t throw a party, my mother bought her a really nice gift and gave her card. Early this year my mum turned 50, and neither one of them bought her anything. I thought that was absolutely cruel, considering how much my parents have done for them. My parents even babysit them when they were kids.
When i was younger, they used to tease me- a lot. They would even whisper things about me. All my life and my brothers life, they have treated us like crap. Not once did they babysit us, and we don’t get gifts, unless we have a party- even so, for my brother’s 16th birthday, he threw a party, one of my cousin’s didn’t come because she had to go to her husband’s parents house for ‘dinner’ and they still didn’t buy him a gift.
Now, my cousin has sent us an invite for her son’s first birthday, which is in a couple of weeks time. My parents, brothers & myself are all weighing up the options on whether we should go. If we don’t they’ll probably make us ‘look’ bad, even though, they haven’t realised what they’ve done wrong. On the other hand we don’t want to go, because we’ve done so much for them, and they give us nothing in return- they expect everything all the time, but they never give, and it’s really upsetting all of us.
I don’t particularly don’t want to go, because i cannot stand them- i don’t want anything to do with them; they’re absolutely self-fish. Sometimes I just want to go up to them and tell them the truth about what they’ve done; they walk around like they’re so innocent.
We really need help! What do we do? To go or not go, that is the question…
I really hope you can help me!

ANSWER:

If this B-day is about them then don’t go. If it is about a little innocent 1 year old then of course you would go. If you focus on the child and not your own hurt and drama then going may be a bit easier. I would also suggest you focus on your own immediate family and be happy with them. These people should be on the periphery of your life and really not have much of an impact. I have 20 cousins and none cause drama in my life because I choose to not let them.

David

www.help4life.net

 

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