Hi David, I live with the in-laws and my fiance and I am a proud parents of a four month old… I am a stay at home mom so I feel I know my child better than anyone even better than grandma and grandpa… My son is only four months old so he should only be eating around five to six ounces… And the doctor has not told me to put cereal in his formula yet so I haven’t… But his Grandfather my father in law insists that five ounces is not enough and that we are starving our son… Tonight I ask them to keep him for 15 minutes while I took a shower and ate dinner and without them letting me know he needed to eat they went on right ahead and made him a full bottle so probably 7 or 8 ounces of formula and his grandpa added CEREAl!!! It made me so upset because I don’t ever feed him that much the doctor says its to much so I confronted him about it and asked please follow what I want my child to have… Because there youngest is 9 years old and I don’t go behind their back and do something for their son that they don’t want me too… So my question is how do I piloting go about reinforcing what I want for my son… And that I am his mother and I know best and that if I am not sure about something I will ask them but other than that do what I ask????
There are several options you have. One is to get married and move into your own place where you can be in charge and not have to rely on anyone to take care of your kids. Another is to give specific instructions each time you leave your child with someone. Another is to not be bothered by something that happens occasionally and probably won’t actually harm your kid. Another would be to get in the face of the people providing you a place to stay and be hostile towards them. As you can see there are many ways to react. Ultimately I think that these grandparents love their grandchild and have no intent to do him harm. There may be some tension towards you because they think you don’t have the knowledge they have because they have raised kids and you haven’t. I understand it’s a betrayal and they shouldn’t have done that, yet focusing on this one incident would not be a good idea because I think they want the best for you and your child.