My husband of six years (we have been together for 16 years) wants a divorce. He had an emotional affair with a 28-year-old woman for a few months in the first half of the year. After I discovered the affair, the woman said that she would leave the relationship. But a few weeks later my husband reconnected with him. In July, when I was visiting my family in Hong Kong, my husband informed me that he chose the her over me because he wanted happiness. I came back to the States a week later and my husband told me that he ended the relationship with the woman but the affair has made him realized that our marriage was not good and has been dead for two years. So, now he is not with the other woman but my husband and I are separated and he has no desire to save the marriage. I am still very much in love of my husband. We went to marriage counseling twice but he treated it as divorce counseling and said that he does not want to be with me anymore. I really want to get back with my husband. But I don’t know what to do to. Please give me some advice.
You can only be in charge of yourself. So I would suggest you focus on doing loving things even when you don’t feel like it. I imagine that he didn’t feel connecting with you so he had to connect to someone else. Your job now should be to rekindle the connection EVEN WHEN you don’t feel like it. It’s the best that can be done given his desire to not stay married.