I have been married for 7 years. My Brother-in-law moved in with us and my husband and I have been living with him for 7 months now. My son (his nephew, obviously) is 7 years old (that a lot of 7’s I know!)
My brother-in-law lets my son use all of his stuff, including his smartphone. On one occassion I asked to play Angry Birds on his phone. As a joke I changed his phone’s background to a girly pink background, and sent my husband a funny text from his phone (something about my farts stinking). Nobody realized the fart text was a joke so the joke kinda bombed 😦
Anyway my brother-in-law put a password lock on his phone. Only my son and my husband know it. I asked my son, “Go ask Uncle John why I’m not allowed to know his phone password” and he told my son to tell me he doesn’t want me to know it.
I’m feeling really hurt right now and kinda angry. I mean, he’s basically my BROTHER (in-law). His actions basically say he doesn’t trust me. I’m a very trustworthy person so I am very hurt! I also realize I may be a bit immature because I feel like telling him he can’t use my computer table, or my kitchen stuff, or my iron, etc.
It especially hurts because in his family they share EVERYTHING. Just last weekend he drove his own truck down to give it to his parents because they need a car.
I suggest that you have a rational non emotion filled conversation with him. Start it with apologizing for the phone issue even if you don’t think you should. He may get his feelings hurt easily and you didn’t realize it before. If you are unable to humble yourself then plan on having a hurt relationship. I think the best thing to do is go to him with hat in hand recognizing that you may have overstepped boundaries and your intention was to not offend at all. Hopefully he will accept the apology and you all can move on.