Love as a feeling…


Hi… I have been really confused as of late. I can’t figure this out. I’ll start by explaining my predicament. I’m 16 years old and will be 17 in a few months. We have certain standards in my church that I like to keep. One of these standards is waiting until you are 16 to date. I feel that this is a very good rule and I support it 100%. A lot of the members follow this rule, including my girlfriends family.    There is this girl and for as long as I can remember we have liked each other. We only recently started dating (2 months maybe). I have very deep feelings toward her and I have expressed these feelings. she has too. We are both actually extremely mature individuals and our personalities match each other perfectly ( in my opinion). We have only been in a serious relationship together for a few months but it feels like I know her as her true self. not what she puts up in public… I have never had feelings like toward anyone before. I love her and I’m in love with her. I think. what is love? I guess you’re going to try to tell me what it is from your point of view. My question is: Even though we have only been in a relationship for a few months ( we have known each other for more than 10 years.) I’m I feeling love? like real love and not infatuation.    Our relationship isn’t based off of sex or kissing. I don’t even want it to be… Those are sacred acts that should be between a husband and his wife. I know that what I’m feeling isn’t lust. I feel like I would do anything for her and her, me. We can share anything with each other and I do so without the fear of being judged. I can see us living the rest of our lives together and yet this all seems so surreal I can’t tell if it is just a very deep feeling of infatuation. Please help me!    And also, is it crazy to think that I have found the person I want to marry? Especially at such a young age. I don’t want to pair off at such a young age . We have both made promises to each other that we will date other people and that there will not be any jealousy between us. But I honestly can’t see myself with any other person and connecting as deeply as I do with “her”. I can’t tell what I am feeling and I am extremely confused right now… as you could probably tell. Again, PLEASE HELP ME! Thank you.


I think what you are finding is that being “in love” is a powerful FEELING. What you need to remember is that FEELINGS change from day to day. This person may very well be the person you marry, but you are still young and there is a huge world to explore. I would encourage you to not date multiple people, but get to know multiple people and gather information about them. When you have enough information you can make better informed choices. I don’t think you have enough information about this young woman to make an informed decision about marriage. Remember she has her own growing up to do and may slowly gravitate towards some else. So right now simply take it slow and get to know her and gather information about her in all kinds of areas.


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