Treat kindly…


 

 

QUESTION:

Hi,
My FIL recently died from a year long battle with cancer.  During this time, I had periods where my relationship with my husband was strained, and I had to watch anything I said about his family.  We have a young child, and it was difficult at times when we were put on the back burner.
My parents came to the funeral (don’t live in the same town) and have had little contact with my in-laws.  My parents have been very supportive and offered to help with our child if she couldn’t sit through the service. They ended up watching our child during a majority of the service. My MIL told my parents as they left the funeral dinner that my child was just fine with her family–didn’t regard my parents as family at all and no thanks for coming. Other extended family were rather rude too about who’s side they belonged.
Do I tell my husband about this? His mom is notorious for open mouth insert foot, but this was over the line. We have been a huge help to them (going to doctor visits, working on their house since he couldn’t), and my parents have helped us at home to get things done (while helping them).
My MIL is going to have a rough patch, and I feel slighted by her.  What do you suggest?
Thanks,

ANSWER:

This woman just lost her husband and most likely had to see him at his worst. So feeling slighted should be the last thing on your mind. It seems a bit self-centered doesn’t it? This woman no longer has a companion to share her life with. She now has to rely on others to feel like she belongs. I think that last thing you should be concerned about is any slight she may have caused you. I think if you have some compassion and empathy now is the time it should be kicking in. Think about the loss of your husband and all it would mean. Be loving and kind to her. It will say more about you, will impress your husband and more importantly you will impress yourself.

Make yourself heard!

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