You really don’t know what to do?????


  QUESTION:

Been with guy five months he has anger problems … hes never physically hit me BUT he’s slammed car doors, slammed apartment doors, yelled, physically hits his hands on his head … BUT then he says he’s sorry wants to spend rest of his life with me … told him last night *when he was in a good mood* “I don’t know what to do you have an anger problem and I dont know what to do if you don’t take medication and get help” then I walked out EVERY SINGLE day for past five months he always sends me a good morning text nothing …. What do I do now?

   

ANSWER:

Really??? You don’t know what to do? The best thing you can do is leave this relationship. You will be hurt physically eventually. This guy is NOT ready to be in a relationship. He can’t control himself, how do you expect him to be when other things are brought into the relationship…family members her doesn’t like…friends of yours he doesn’t like. If you marry, how do you expect him to be able to behave around any children you may have. Again, you need to be smart when you date people and gather information about them. You have gathered enough information to know that you should NOT be dating this guy. You may tolerate it now, but 3 years into it, the “sorrys” will get old and you will have wondered why you even stayed with this guy.

6 thoughts on “You really don’t know what to do?????

  1. is that really the best thing to do? leaving the person. forgive me but surely you ought to suggest anger management or something… walking out of a relationship simply due to an anger problem shows a person’s immaturity in doing so. Yes there is a threat to personal safety with the easily ignited temper… but try ‘love will conquer all?’

  2. How long are you willing to wait for “love to conquer all”? In the meantime people are hurt, relationships suffer, children are scarred. Plus, I answered what she should do. This guy isn’t ready for a relationship and she doesn’t talk about love anywhere. In my opinion the totality of the circumstances dictate she move on. It could possibly be different if this were a long-term relationship with other particulars. Thanks for reading!

  3. FIRST, commend yourself for having the courage to ask. It’s not an easy problem to deal with. And know you’re NOT alone. Man women deal with this issue every day.

    And I know EXACTLY how you feel. My first husband was the SAME way. When he wasn’t angry, he was the sweetest guy in the world… except he got ANGRY every day and often over things that didn’t make sense to me.

    For example, he played guitar at the time, and he was in a band. So, when we got our first tax refund after getting married, he wanted to spend ALL OF IT ($1500) on a new amplifier. When I said that was fine if we could spend the next tax refund on a new couch because all we had was a really ugly love seat that had WOOL upholstery (and I’m allergic to wool). Sounded reasonable to me, but he BLEW UP and kicked that lovely wool sofa so hard it rolled over and landed right side up in the middle of the dining room.

    However, things didn’t start out that way. When we met 2 years prior to the sofa-kicking incident, he would throw coffee cups/dishes and occasionally punched the wall. And it’s easy to tell yourself that it won’t escalate from there, but you’re wrong.

    Three years later, he grabbed my wrists so hard that I had a hairline fracture in my ulna where it connects to the bones of my hand, and that wrist still hurts to this day (and this was in 1988). A few weeks later, after my wrist had healed, he got really drunk, grabbed my wrists again, and I lost my balance and ended up on the hardwood floor of our living room. I didn’t go to the ER that night. I was too upset. I took our 18-month old son over to my parents’ house, and I never went back. I finally went to the doctor after WEEKS of excruciating back pain, and I was told that I had a hairline fracture to one of the vertebrae just above my tail bone. I haven’t had ONE day free from pain in my lower back since then, and I still have to ice that spot frequently. And I lie on a heating pad EVERY SINGLE DAY.

    So, what do you do? Leave him before you become the object slammed against the wall… AND. DON’T. LOOK. BACK. No guy is worth that! If he goes to Anger Management classes or a therapist, PROCEED CAUTIOUSLY and think TWICE/THRICE and 50 TIMES before you consider reconciling with him.

    Someone with anger management issues CANNOT be cured. They can alter their behavior, but you never know when all those exercises and GOOD HABITS will be cast aside because something was just TOO MUCH for him or her to deal with – once again – his fist is hitting the wall, or your face. DON’T be that girl!

    Take care.
    Best,
    Kennedy

  4. there are several paths to follow i suppose… perhaps you are right..

    good blog anyway!! you have going on here, keep it going!!!

  5. Not to be pushy, but I wouldn’t want to take the chance that I’m right…you can’t UN-BREAK your bones! 🙂

    Kennedy
    a.k.a. tenaciousbitch

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