You have more power than you think…


  QUESTION:

My husband and I have a daughter, Anne, aged 19. We had an argument about her being not serious about her studies and the kind of arrogant people she socializes with. Anne is the kind of person who’d listen adn do whatever anyone tells her to do or be except us. My husband and I are always seen as the bad people because we instill disciple at home. After the argument, Anne skipped school for the past one and a half years just to be with her boyfriend, Tim. Tim doesn’t go to college either and works part-time and so does Anne. It seems like all these time Anne had hardly made much for she spends all her money on her boyfriend and pays their rent. She has changed to the point she has tatooes on her arms, dyed her hair red, gets agitated when strangers comment on her tatooes, and sleeps in late every day. Anne recently decided to be nice to us, come home and go back to collge. My husband and I however, feel that she is not really serious about going back to school though we very much want her to get a good college education. We also feel that she has run out of money and doing whatever her boyfriend tells her. Is there a way we can talk to her just to find out how serious she is about getting back on the right track and going back to school?

ANSWER:

 

  Believe it or not you actually have a lot of power in this situation. If you haven’t sat her down and given some clear boundaries and expectations then you need to do that now. You and your hubby should come up with a plan together and then present it to your daughter. If she doesn’t like it, then she can move on out. Whatever your plan is, it needs to be reasonable. That is the key word. Another option is you and hubby come up with a plan share it with daughter and then get her input. Ultimately you need to have things spelled out so she isn’t surprised by the things you require of her.

Make yourself heard!

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