Look for the Olive Branch…


  Question:

Recently my husband and I decided that we did now want our children around his brothers fiancee.  Because the fiancee lives with the inlaws(my husbands family) we were honest with them and told them we would prefer they visit the children at our home and no overnight visit would be allowed.  His parents became very angry and accused us of keeping the children from them  My MIL even posted a very rude and personal comment on Facebook.  My husband and I were very hurt and confused by the way they reacted and we have not spoken to them since then. They have basically told him that because of his actions they no longer want to speak to him.
My problem is that we have decided to move out of state and will be leaving in a few short weeks and my husband who is still very hurt does not want to allow the children to see there grandparent before we leave because he knows his parents will use it as time to badger and belittle him and me.  He hasn’t even told his family that we are leaving and I really don’t want to leave like this when things are so bad already.  What should we do?  Should he be the bigger man and allow them time to say good bye or should we leave and contact them later.

ANSWER: 

  You need to respect what your husband decides to do. He has a much longer history with them and is the one that is affected much more than you are. Bottom-line you need to support your husband because that is what he needs from you and also because it will make your marriage stronger. Focus on the good family relationships you do have and watch for olive branches to be given by his family so that maybe peace can be restored eventually.

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