Didn’t you talk about it…


  QUESTION:

I recently married my boyfriend of 5 years. He has 2 children, ten and twelve, from a previous marriage. We have joint custody which includes every other weekend. We both work full time.

We have a difference of opinion that is causing turmoil in our relationship so I am seeking your advice. My husband feels we should be equally responsible for his children, I don’t. I take care of the kids so he can go ride his bike when I can but I don’t think it’s my responsibility to give up doing something I want to do on the weekend to watch them. I have 2 grown children of my own that I raised and feel if anyone has to give up doing something the weekend they are with us, it should be their father. I honestly so not think if the shoe were on the other foot, I’d feel differently. I wouldn’t expect him to watch my kids if he had something he’d rather do. Am I wrong to feel this way? I know we entered into a partnership but I am not the children’s mother.
 

ANSWER:

Why did you marry? Surely you must have had a conversation about this before the marriage or was being in charge of the kids a surprise thing? I think since he is the BIO parent needs to be full responsible, but aren’t you wanting to be involved since you married this guy. I imagine this is a symptom of a deeper issue in your relationship that should have been resolved prior to marriage. The simpl answer is that you married this guy with all his baggage attached. To complain about it now seems unfair and a precursor to a potential divorce. I would encourage you to re-examine your priorities. Are you doing things every weekend by yourself and kids hamper that? If so you shouldn’t have gotten married. If they hamper things every once in a while. Then for the sake of the future of your marriage I encourage you to be a bit more flexible.

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