What a guy needs, from a guys perspective…


  QUESTION:

First off I would like to say thank you for taking the time to answer my question. I am 27, my husband is 25. We’ve been married 2 years. Lately my husband has been treating me with a hint of disrespect. Nothing deal breaking but definitely unacceptable. For instance, we will buy $200 in groceries and he will eat the items that I bought only for me. And he knows this. So then I’m stuck with nothing to eat while he still has all his own foods (that I can’t stand). I’ve told him this is unacceptable and he’ll apologize. And then he’ll do it again the next day! Lately he’s been very selfish in the bedroom. He gets ‘satisfied’ and then tells me he ‘owes me’ and goes to sleep. So I’m left waiting for several more days until my own needs are fulfilled. Once again I’ve talked to him about this and he apologizes, but he doesn’t change it. He’s working out of town and only calls me when he feels like it. He uses the excuse that he doesn’t like to talk on the phone. Yet when we were dating he would talk for hours. I could give you more examples but no need, you get the idea.  

I don’t understand where this behavior is coming from? He DID NOT act like this before we got married. I’m not a dependent wife, heck I don’t even see him 4 days a week. I don’t always answer his calls right away, I have friends and a life of my own. I’ve found no evidence of my hubby cheating. I try to be a really good wife. I do all the cooking, all the childcare, all the housework. Always have a clean house and I pack an entire cooler full of food/drinks for him when he leaves for work. I’ve not let myself go. Any ideas or advice you can give me will be much appreciated.  

ANSWER:

  I think that there is something in your interaction with him that causes him to feel disrespected. Obviously I don’t know what it is since I am not there with you. I do know guys need 3 things…sex…food and respect. I am thinking that respect area may be lacking. I would suggest you sit down and let him know that you value him and continue to find ways to show him that you value him. Greet him at the door with a kiss. Make him believe that he is the most important thing to you. If you did this consistently for over a month I think you will see a positive change in his behavior.

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