Protect your kids…


   

QUESTION:

Me and my wife worry a lot that my mother in law, might be a bad influence over my 4 year old son, and 2 year girl.
My mother in law is a healthy 50 something woman, but she widowed three years ago. Since then she has come into a repetitive depressive situation, and she refuses any help. This has worsened her relation with my wife (though it was not a good relation either before my father in law passed).
She claims that her only happiness is to be with our kids, but whenever she is with the kids, the boy start to behave bad, start to do things out of control like refusing to go to school, or to his extra activities. The situation came as far as that once, when my wife and me took a 5 day log weekend scape (anniversary) the kid refused and did not go to half of its normal activities (did not go to one day to the school, and two afternoons to after hours music classes) that he normally liked to go. It has become usual, that whenever he comes back after being with her, the kid tends to behave bad. We have told her, that she should be able to control the kids more. We know that grand parents never control kids that much, but at least enough to make them to cumply with their basic responsabilities
Another worrying thing, is that she is always worried, and commenting us and everyone that the kid might be being abused, and/or being drugged everywhere, and by anyone (friends, older cousins, house workers, etc)with absurd arguments (the boy is getting naked repitedly because other kids are touching him, the lady at home is drugging the boy because he sleeps sometimes in the afternoon, etc….), something that we are sure it is not happening, because we have also been aware of these things. She even once paid an analysis for some water the boy was drinking, because supposedly she tried it and felt dizzy. Obviously, the chemical test was negative to anything.
We want to see the risk of the situation, because definitely we also see the good side of her, as me and my wife have jobs, so we have limited time for the kids, and although we have a well trained woman working for us at home, to take care of the kids, we prefer family nearby, but we are not sure how to asess the risks of her influence in the kids, in terms of her emotional conditions, and her fears.

ANSWER:

  You first priority with your young children should be to protect them from danger and potential danger. This woman sounds like potential danger. There is NO WAY you should be letting this woman alone with your children unless she is medicated for depression. While it’s nice to have family around, are you really willing to risk your children’s safety for the sake of similar DNA? Your children were not put on earth to make this woman deal with her depression and to feel better about herself. You should have a serious conversation with her that you cannot risk the safety of the kids until she is willing to get help with her depression. Find some numbers that she can call to get with a therapist or doctor who can get her a prescription.

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