Kids need their father…


  QUESTION:My husband and I have been married for 18 years and have three children.   Three months ago he was forced to find work out in another state 1000 miles away.  He doesn’t get time off to come home and with the kids in school we have only been able to see him once.   He is constantly moving from town to town so we cannot relocate.  He believes that towards the end of summer they will stay in the same area for close to a year.   I want to close up our house and relocate for that time.  He feels it will be hard on our children if we relocate there for one year and then the kids and I will either come back home or relocate where ever he goes after that depending on the job.   There is no work for him at home and he does make more money than ever in this new line of work, but it will keep him traveling and best case scenario he will work in one area for 1-5 years at a time.  The oldest who will be a senior next year has no problems with moving for the year.  In fact she’s hoping we do.  The 16 year old sways back and forth,  he understands why I am considering it even if he doesn’t like the idea.  But he has been giving us problems for over a year now and got really out of control shortly after his dad left.   The 13 year old says she is fine with relocation, just make a decision soon so she can be signed up for fall sports in the new area.  The 6 year old often cries because he misses his dad, and I know will benefit from moving.   What is going to be the best thing to do for our family?  Will moving a lot hurt the children the way he believes it will or will they benefit more from being a whole family unit?
   ANSWER:

The best thing for your children is a good relationship with their father. How good can it be if they see him once every 5-10 weeks. The 13 year old sounds like the one with the issues. This may be due to lack of confidence and nervousness about his potential new life. I suggest if you do make the decision you sit down as a family and talk clearly about it. Give the reasons for it. They need a relationship with their father!

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