Don’t get mad, communicate…


  QUESTION:

My wife and I have been married for 16 years and have 3 children running from kindergarten to high school.  We share many of the same friends both on a day-to-day basis as well as on social sites like Facebook (actually that is the only social site we both use).  One or two of the men that we both know are “friendly” flirts.  I am the first to admit that I am extremely jealous naturally but we’ve also had our fair share of issues as a couple so I’m probably even more sensitive to issues dealing with men in general where my wife is concerned.  My question is this.. would you say I’m over reacting if one of our mutual friends is flirting with my wife via facebook chat?  Saying things like, “when I’m in town visiting next is there anything I can do for you.. or to you? ;)” Other women we both know just say, “thats just Andy.. he’s like that with EVERYONE..”  and in fairness I think he’s the type that would say something like that then follow-up later in the chat by asking how I was doing and saying that we make a cute couple.  I guess I’m asking whether or not I am over reacting or being too sensitive to things like chat and comments or is she being too accomodating to comments like the aforementioned?  THanks for your thoughts!

   

ANSWER:
I think that men should be appropriate to your wife and that isn’t appropriate. It’s not about sensitivity in my mind. It is about you being the man in your home and the protector and the one who your wife desires. If another guys is coming in tempting my wife away from me, even in joking, I wouldn’t appreciate that. It’s about boundaries. Now getting mad at your wife about it, isn’t the way to handle it. Letting her know you value her and don’t want anything to get in the way between the two of you is important.

Make yourself heard!

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