Take a breath…


  Question:

I need to know how to handle this situation.  My sister and brother in law are very insecure people.  They are always discussing how rich their friends are and making themselves out to be very important.  They are both very insensitive to family members on a regular basis saying rude and hurtful things.  No one in my husband’s family will say anything to them about their behavior because in their words “that’s just the way they are”.  They have always professed to want to be “close” to us, but we live far away and don’t have to have much interaction with them thankfully.  Today, I learned that my sister in law was making untrue comments about our daughter’s acceptance into college to my father in law stating that we must have “bought her way in since she clearly is not smart enough to get in on her own”.  As a matter of fact, our daughter has worked really hard at school and got herself admitted without our help and we are really proud of her.  I feel the need to confront my sister in law about this lapse in judgement, but know it probably won’t do any good.  The icing on the cake is that they have planned to visit us in May and have already bought plane tickets.  I don’t think I can be near her and still be civil.  What do I do?

   

Answer:

Take a breath. You are mature enough to overlook this and tolerate these people for a small amount of time. You have gotten info third hand and do did not receive the information verbatim. Thus, you don’t know exactly what was said. Plus, why would your FIL give you this information. It was foolish of him to pass this on to you unless he is invested in keeping you two at odds. Like you said you don’t have a lot of contact with these people and they really don’t even know you. So don’t get offended by people that don’t know you. If it’s truth then deal with it, if it isn’t move on, life is too short.

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