Probably should leave…


  Question:

I am having issues with the mother and the 17 year old. He repeated 8th grade twice and then dropped out if freshman year in the first quarter and has done nothing since. All he does is sit in his room and play games. We have told him to look for work but his mother lets him get away with not doing so. He is to be working towards his GED but does nothing with that as well. I speak to his mother about pushing him much hardware as the being nice this has yet to work for her. She tells me she is tired of being put in the middle but I thought it was her job to make sure her child is trying to do his best. He has asked me to stay out of it for know but everytime we speak about it she gets angry and cries and its not as if it’s a heated discussion. Her eldest is in jail for theft and when he gets out he will probably come stay with us ever though he has stolen from his mother in the past and I have many more valuables than they ever had before, not bragging but she was a single parent with nothing and I do commend her for that as my mother was the same way. Her daughter is married to a Marine and he is to be deployed in Jan. and she is to have the baby in Feb and now she is planning to come live with us as wee until his return. We got a loan for a car for her but when she moved in with her husband out of state she defaulted on the loan and the car went back. Not I just had to fork out $2000 so they would have something to drive as the baby is coming. I do not consider this a bad think but all this is piling up and all within the next 6 months or so.

I lost my job in New Mexico and took another position in Texas making $30,000 less than I was before. The stress of it all is wearing on me with income and family items. I plan to file for bankruptcy as I am already behind on so many bills. She has started working part time and is going back to school for a two year degree to better her situation, which is good but doesn’t help now.

How about some helpful hints?

  Answer:I won’t give you hints, but some things I think you should consider doing. When I read your first 2 sentences I though to myself “he needs to get out of this relationship.” I continued to read and continued to think that. Here is why. Your troubles with these two sons will continue on into the future. So you have to decide if you want to be with your wife….and these two bums. Your wife will not hold them accountable to better behavior most likely because she has guilt over the divorces. It’s not chance that all these kids are coming back to live with their mother. I would bet that she raised these kids in a way that they needed to stay dependant on mommy. So you have a choice to make. You won’t change your wife, but you can change what you do.

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