I am 27, my boyfriend is 28. We’ve been dating for 9 months & it’s going really,really well. I’ve been in a few long-term relationships, and although he’s been in a few that have lasted under a year, they have never been that serious.
We have the same sense of humour, love going out & hanging out together, and are, generally, really happy. He tells me I’m hot, intelligent, funny, and treats me with a lot of respect. He’s completely adorable with me. The issue is, that I told him a month ago that I was in love with him, and he just couldn’t say it back to me. Apparently, he’s never felt this way about anyone before and told me he could see himself falling in love with me. Clearly, I’m the more emotional one in the relationship, which caused a bit of friction in the past, but we’ve seemed to work past it.
My concern is that, although I definitely don’t want to rush things, at some point, in a couple of years, I would like a relationship where we’re in love and looking at moving in together. I don’t mind waiting for awhile for him to feel love for me, but I am somewhat concerned that, after a certain period of time, I am wasting my time. Basically, I am concerned that if this doesn’t happen by a certain point, it just means he’s emotionally unavailable to a certain extent and I should end it.
I should also say that I feel like this is his first adult relationship in that we’re completely comfortable with eachother and cook dinner together and have befriended each other’s friends. To him, this is all new, but I have been in a couple of long-term relationships & lived with a bf before. I really want this one to work because I’ve never felt like anyone I’ve dated has liked my personality/sense of humour, as opposed to just my looks, as much as him.
Basically, how long do I wait? I’m a little scared I could wait a few years with this adorable man only to realize that he’s not capable of love or with living with anyone.
So I think that you need to determine why you are dating. Is it for fun or for marriage. If this dating is for fun, then don’t worry about if he says he loves you or not. If you are dating because you want a long-term relationship then you need to sit with him and clearly explain what your intentions are. You don’t want to be in this relationship long-term and then have it broken up because the guy didn’t want to be serious. I also think you should NOT move in with one another. It is a mistake that has long-term consequences. Studies show that living together leads to a higher divorce rate.