You may want to reconsider…

Question: I am completely in love with my fiance. His mother lives on an Island outside the U.S. He is very close to her and today brought up the possibility of her moving in with us in a few years. I am competely not cool with that.  How should I word it to him AND am I being unreasonable? She is a wonderful woman, however, she is a little particular, and so am I. I want to be the queen of my castle and enjoy my relationship while we are still young. We are late 30’s, early 40’s. She is 69.  Help!
Answer: OK now PLEASE set aside your emotions for a moment and deal in reality. Your BF obviously values his mother and it sounds like there may be a cultural component in his life. He may agree with you now prior to marriage about not having her move in, but that WILL change after marriage. So it’s great that you have the feeling of love, but marriage involves much more than emotion. It involves sacrifice and serving. If you are not willing to sacrifice and serve in the manner he is asking then you REALLY may want to reconsider this relationship and your role in it.

9 thoughts on “You may want to reconsider…

  1. I understant that they are really close, but he has to understand how you feel. Why should you have to make that sacrifice? You are adults…and you have the right to your own home. If he wants her to live closer, he should help her find her own place near you, not with you. He is a grown man, but sounding like a mama’s boy. I love my in-laws but unless they are near death or have no other choice they are not living with me. Part of being an adult is living on your own. Especially if you are about to get into a marriage. Privacy is part of that. You may want to rethink marrying someone who wants to live with their mother.

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