Be appropriate…

Question: I am sixteen years old and have been living with my dad since 2004 when my mom died of cancer. Growing up, he was always the enforcer. If my mom had problems with any of us kids (I’m one of six, all are older and out of the house) she would say “don’t make me call your father up here!” My dad was also always working. My family was supported on just his paycheck. After she died, I was stuck with my dad. We would argue all the time and fight about the littlest things. Now, four years later, our relationship is the best its ever been. We aren’t extremely close, but its better than it was. Obviously, my dad has been raising a teenage daughter on his own, so this brings me to my question: What’s the best way possible to bring up spending the night at my boyfriends house? I have been allowed to go camping with guys in the past, but I am afraid to bring up the topic of an overnight at his house. He is a very respectable boy, he works two jobs, has his own vehicle he bought himself and also has both his parents, which is a first for any guy I’ve dated. In the past, when offered to go camping, the parent called and asked, and my dad said yes, so we didn’t get a chance to talk about it. A few days ago I brought this up to my brother (who is 26) and he said to talk to dad about it, and let him know we will be supervised and his parents would be home – I could do no wrong in asking. The issue is, how do I bring it up to my dad?
Answer: Julie,
I am smiling because you must think that I am in agreement with you. Why do you need to spend the night there? Nothing good could really happen at night anyway except sexual activity. I would simply ask your dad. If he is a good parent he will not let you. It is fairly outrageous that you even want to. It DOESN’T matter what type of guy he is. It IS about propriety. It IS totally inappropriate for your to spend the night there. It makes you look bad and gives you and he too much temptation.

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