It’s not about how you FEEEEEEELLLLL…


Question: My husband and I have a dilemma. Our 21 year old son was attending college for 2 1/2 years. Towards the end of this last semester he came to us and told us he dropped all his classes except one because he was switching majors. Most of the classes he had already taken do not transfer to the new major he wanted. We agreed from the beginning to pay 1/2 of his college tuition if he got a degree and agreed to continue. He works part time and lives at home. We also recently found out that he is keeping bad company and smoking pot. He refuses to quit smoking pot and give up the bad friends and now has decided to quit school all together because my husband told him we would no longer pay for college if he choose to continue smoking pot. My husband and I are at a loss as to how to help our son make better choices. It is breaking our hearts that he is doing drugs and quitting school. What can we do to help our son?
 
Answer: Donna,
While this won’t go with what you FEEL. The behavior you NEED to do it let him know he will be needing to find a place to live in the beginning of January. He is using your home as a flop house. Unless he is willing to pay you rent he should be out on his own. If he wants to do the “adult” thing why in the world would you hold him back from it? He can quit school and smoke pot and hang with friends because he is allowed to and still live in your home rent free. Helping him make better choices was from 0-18. 18 on you can help, but he is going to make his own choices. Moving him out so you don’t have to nag on him and make him feel guilty would be the best thing for all of you.

2 thoughts on “It’s not about how you FEEEEEEELLLLL…

  1. Our children are grown now but we were faced with similar problems. We gave them a choice: do the right thing or move out. It seems harsh but it really comes down to that. It was tough for a long time.

    Today our son is a Lieutenant, our daughter a Captian with the Miami-Dade Fire Dept.

    You are good parents and you have to trust that your teachings will
    win out in the end.

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