|Question:||Here is my story and I need advice. Myself and wife of 22 years are raising our family and our oldest daughters 2 year old child ( both live with us as well as our other 2 children ) .My wife has quit her full time job to help raise her son, so our daughter can finish up her college degree in nursing.The baby’s father is out of the picture (that is a good thing). I am concerned how my daughter treats her son. She seems to have resentment toward her baby because the father is not helping out at all. She is very unloving and cold to her baby. This causes lots of friction between my wife and daughter. The friction and fighting is consent and not healthy. We have tried counseling but our daughter refuses to go. I have also suggested parenting classes with the same push back. She has been diagnosed with ADHD and manic depression from our family doctor, ( but I don’t know why the family doctor would say after a 10 minute visit – I think that should be left for a psychiatrist ) I guess my question is …any advice for next step to try to (A) help my daughter be a more loving parent or (B)Cease the fighting and friction between my wife and daughter. I am embarrassed to write this question, yet I don’t know what to do. Thank You for your time, Rick
It really depends on how far you are willing to go. My first suggestion is that you seek full custody of this child. If you are supporting this mother financially in school then you need to have a serious conversation about what you will stop doing if she is unwilling to seek out help for her parenting skills. In reality you are providing a service that many people pay through the nose for and she is getting it for free. Her acting like a spoiled princess is probably what got her into the current situation. If she is unwilling to do the things she needs to do to be a good parent then you and your wife as good parents need to help her experience the adult world. This would be by charging rent, charging for food etc…It is pretty outrageous that she is getting all these things and your require one thing that would benefit her and she doesn’t do it. She sounds like a teen still. Time for adult talk to start taking place in the home. Don’t be scared to do it.