|Question:||My sister is hell bent on telling me that I am in an abusive relationship and so is my mother. The thing is that I was hypersensitive and intensely crying if he would not call, or whenever we had a conflict. But they said that I got stressed since I entered in the relationship, and when I explained that relocating and a new job also stressed me, they would disregard and say I am protecting him.
He would say that we are not communicating and I would get these intense pangs of fear that he would leave. I started cooking histories in my head and cry.
Towards the end of the relationship, he had a conflict over money (who pays) and he decided we would each pay our own foods. Then, we would not talk for a few days, and when I texted to see we have not talked in three days, he said that I could have called, that guys do not have to be the ones calling all the time, and then invited me on friday.
On saturday, I asked him for a break and he seemed okay with it. But then, on thursday he made plans with friends on thursday and sunday, after I told him I wanted to spend time with him. My sister said that he does not have me as a priority and I was a second choice, so when he asked to confirm, my sister told me to be vague because he did it so late. So I told him I was in NJ. He texted me at 11 calling me on cancelling plans and not telling him, and then
he accused me of breaking up with him.
Is that a manipulator? Was I in an abusive relationship?
I don’t think you are in an abusive relationship. I DO think you are in a immature relationship. I would suggest that when things like you describe happen you not stay in the relationship. He didn’t seem too into making it work. You also seem to be somewhat needy. Some maturity in your own life may bring you to have more mature relationships. I think your brother and sister recognize the immaturity that you exhibit and they don’t know how to tell you in an effective way. I would suggest you get some maturity before you start in on another relationship.