|Question:||Hi. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 3 months. I’m 27 yrs old, and he’s only my 2nd boyfriend as I only get serious with people I truly feel a connection with. We are different in terms of motivation. I am motivated. I go to college, work, and own two homes – one that I rent out and the other I live in and have actually sold and am looking for a new house to buy. He’s about a 7 or 8 on the lazy scale. I’m about a 8 or 9 on the motivated scale. I want my financial steps to lead me to prosperity and my boyfriend expects to contribute too but his steps aren’t compatible with mine. I want my man to take care of me, if not in financial ways, then in other ways, but the way he takes care of himself isn’t a reflection of how I’d like to be taken care of. His last girlfriend bought him a $700 boat, which he paid her back and today he found this snowmobile that is $700 and said if I bought it I could turn and make $1000 on it – which I researched and is very probable. But here’s the thing – he wants to use it all winter and then sell it. I want to sell it if I buy it. He told me I need to learn to have fun. Dr Simonsen, I play in poker tournaments, go out, have lots of friends and am a girl that is aggressive in everything – inlcuding fun. My concern is that I want this relationship to be solid. Since I’m having doubts about his laziness, which is the only characteristic that concerns me, I want to either nip his characteristics in the bud somehow or break up. He’s got two girls who desperatley want a mom and all three of them have been through enough. If he’s not for me I have to let him know. He really loves me and I love him. But I want to do things right as soon as I know what the right thing is. Thanks.
WOW….It seems like this is not a match. Generally speaking people who lazy and unmotivated don’t suddenly become motivated overnight. From the information you have given I would say you should move on. This is something that will not be easy to simply accept. It will cause problems. Think of it this way. When people date they are usually putting on the best show they can. If this is his best show, what is normal daily life going to look like. I would think much worse.