|Question:||I recently found my Daughter’s myspace profile up and available on my computer. Upon deciding to investigate her recent myspace e-mails, I read a few messages where a boy was asking her about her sexual activity. She told the boy that she had done everything but sex and that she was intent to have sex with her current boyfriend the following night. She is 14 going on 15. This message was dated September 2nd–so there is a potential that she has had sex, since I discovered the message today (Oct. 1). I need advice on how I should proceed. I’ve cancelled her myspace account and am intent to not allow her to go to her boyfriend’s house (allowing him to come to my house). I’m also going to confront her on whether or not she is a virgin and even if she tells me that she is I will be taking her to a Doctor. Is it logical to place her on birth control due to the fact that it is apparent she is intent to engage in sexual contact? What are the risks? I don’t want her to think that I am allowing her to have sex because of this. In what other ways should I proceed in this situation?
Thank you for your anticipated response!
What you need to do is get at your daughters heart. The concrete punishments that you bring will not open her up to talk with you on a deeper level. While the consequences are needed you need to start connecting with her on her level. I would also suggest you visit with the boyfriends parents and let them know what is going on. This visit could help set up boundaries that could protect your daughter further. She is way off-track and needs help to get back on track. You can help, but you have to do it in a way that she will be open to.