What’s best for her…


Question: I have been going out with this girl for 6 years now and
we go along well together, so well in fact, that we moved together to
another country to try to improve our life. Now, before we started to
go out together, we were
in a group of friends: little by little the friends dropped out of
the circle and we ended up only the two of us. I started to like her,
the way she reasons and behaves and he whole character but there was
one problem: she wasn’t really attractive to me physically.

I always kind of expected to fall for a gorgeous girl whom I would
really find sexy and attractive.
Now after we moved to this country and we are kind of settling down
after a couple of months, I am starting to, kind of, notice her
physical differences to
my ideal girl more and more and starting to keep one or two steps
back from getting physical with her. She is a really nice person
overall and if I was to leave her, I would feel really bad for years
I believe. She is always thinking about how our kids would like and
dreaming of raising a family together but I keep going deeper into
doubt especially now that we started to get the feel of house prices
in this new country we’re living in. Also,
if I ever decide to leave her, I think that I will simply destroy her
life, especially being the first and only love of her life and I am
also scared she might try to do something stupid as
well….I really need help on this one as it looks like whatever
decision I take, it will break part of me for a long time and I don’t
want to break a marriage in a few years’ time. I am a very respectful
man and always give the necessary attention to whoever I am dating.
There is no other woman involved whatsoever so it’s not a question of
another person’s involvement. I am starting to feel that I liked her
character and the way she does things and, kind of put the physical
attraction to the side back then and I think that I started to feel
the effects. Another thing which I think could be part of the reason
is that I am a kind of person who tries to solve things no matter
what it takes sometimes and this could be why I have started to think
about this problem and I am scared that I will continue to do
it….by the way, I am 34 and she is 27.

thank you in advance for your advice,

sincerely

Joe

 

Answer: Joe,
You can devastate her now or later. I would suggest you end this relationship. Physical attraction is important to a relationship. You need to have that if you want to sustain it for the long-term. Physical attraction becomes shallow when that is the ONLY thing keeping you in a relationship. If you marry this women you will end up divorcing because the physical attraction is not there. It is unfair of you to keep stringing her along. This is not about how you will feel in breaking up with her. It is about what is best for her. I think it is best for her to know that you and her are not fully

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