Try to influence…


Question: My daughter is 16 going on 17 soon. She comes from divorced parents. I am her mom who remarried when she was  4 years old. I’ve had 3 boys since with my husband. We do our best to give them the best. I feel I’ve spoiled her and her brother who is 15. Up until 13 her and I got along really well, she actually said goodmorning and had conversations with me. Now all i get is a girl who walks by me. She turns nice and sweet when she needs a favor or permision. Out of all my kids she has always received the most even broken rules for her. She is hurting me really bad. I am learning to be more consistant in rules and now shes calling her real dad everytime she gets no from me crying. When she never has had a relationship with her dad. please help me im losing control
 
Answer: Sandra,
As you already know consistency is probably one of the most important things you can offer your teen. What you describe is fairly normal in my experience. When there is a broken family there is usually always a person the teen can run to to give them what they want. If you can it would be important to get on the same page as your ex. You should also stop the spoiling and SLOWLY start introducing her to responsibility. This is where if you are on the same page ad bio-dad things will be easier. Finally, you can’t control a 17 yr old. All you can really do is provide boundaries and influence them. She may feel choked by control and is now exerting her will to show you she can’t be controlled.

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