The wimpy husband…

Question: My husband and I have an issue involving his parents that we are at a stand still on.  Before we were married, I explain some of the things that I needed when we had children.  One of the things, we discuss was not calling when I went into the hospital to deliver.  I am one of those people who can’t be late.  The idea of people waiting on me makes me tense.  When I told my mom, he was sitting right beside me and everything was find.  My mom has 29 years experience working as a nurse in labor and delivery.  She is now working in dialysis at another facility due to LPN not being allow to work L&D.  My husband expected me to also tell his mom.  Which happed in may on memorial day.  That did not go well.  After my husband went to the restroom she continued the discussion and informed me that she will be called.  Now my husband wants to back down from our agreement.  I tried to explain that I can have people waiting.  His defiance is that the nurse will be waiting on me.  It is different.  He grantees his mom will not being call to check up.  From what I see,  she would do earns to be closer to the hospital.  We once took his cousin to ER.  She called 3 times in an hour and a half.  We had a early lose in Dec.  She did not handle that well.  She was mad that she was not told sooner.  She had to belittle her son on the phone.  She then had to ask what happen (I was only at 4 weeks when we lost).  Why did I have to have a shot (Iam RH- which she knew).  She was more concerned with her feelings then her son.  I have had a good pregnancy for the most part, but I have had some complications.  I am on my third doctor.  I knew my first one was leaving in Aug.  The second one was a license mid-wife who delivers at the hospital under a doctors care.  Both of these people I felt very comfortable with.  I have bee recently told I have gestational diabetic.  I barely missed the cut off numbers.  So, I could no longer see the mid-wife.  I know all of the risk and complications.  My husbands mom is clues.  Her feelings are just pray that it will be fix.  She makes you feel that, if your prayers are not answered than you did pray right.  When it comes to medical information there is not 30 second call.  She wants ever detail.  I have agree to tell the parents if I go in for an induction, but I don’t want calls or visitors unless after the fact.  When we found that we were having a girl, she had to raise the question what if it is a boy.  I also have another problem, we have Bible study over there.  It has been hit and miss, but we are expect to keep that day open just incase.  They smoke.  It is really bothers me.  I don’t feel welcome and I feel sick afterwards.  I have maintain good sugar numbers since I found out about the gestational DB.   I when we ague about this or when I think about it,  I see a correlation in either increase keytones or elevated sugar numbers.  The keytones were above the level, and the sugars was higher then normal but not above the guide lines given.  I have done nothing that would cause the change.  What should I do.  I am at 32 and 1/2 weeks.  We have less then 8 weeks to go.  


Answer: Leah,
It is your husband that should be dealing with this and not you. You need to let him know in no uncertain terms what you want. I would also suggest you write something up and give it to the nurse and tell them to follow the rules explicitly. If it means MIL shows up then she is not allowed in. They won’t let her in and if she pushes it then hopefully they will call security. It is unfortunate you husband may be too wimpy to deal with this. Yet, he is the one that should be protecting you. If he is unwilling then you are going to have to do it.

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