Use the right words…


Question: Some of my family members and many of my friends see my parents as
“over-protective”, “strict”, and even “sheltering”. Now, I’m 19 years old and
entering my second year of college. I just obtained a car that was bought by
my parents, and I am currently searching for a job. However, many tell me
(and I am beginning to believe this) that my parents can completely hinder
my full enjoyment of college and actually having a social life and interacting
with the outside world. My parents were always afraid of any possible danger
that could come my way when I go out. Because of that, they have set many
rules that prevent me from going out after a certain time (normally before 9
or 10 o’clock when I turned 17). My friends and family have complained to me
about this, telling me they need to learn to “let go”. As they were telling me
this, my friends began leaving me out on their trips to malls or parties and
my time at home began to increase. The thing that’s bothering me is my
parents don’t really seem to care if I don’t go out and socialize and enjoy
being a young adult, but prefer me to stay home or come back home
whenever they feel I should be home (without discussing an agreeable
curfew).

How can I talk to my parents about this whole thing? How can I convince
them to give me some more freedom to go out and be able to make my own
decisions and understand the consequences, especially now that I’m in my
second year of college?
 

Answer: Jame,
So you said a couple key words which probably are the reason your parents are protective. They know you will make poor choices. You want to go to parties, and “socialize” Those most likely all include drinking. Were you caught at one point or had a sibling that was caught. They must be worried you are going to “socialize” and start doing poorly. You need to sit with your parents and have rational conversation about it. Not complain and say all my friend are doing it or all the family thinks your strict. They don’t care about that. I simple question you can ask would be…”what do I need to do to be able to….?” Say this in a rational non-confrontive way.

Make yourself heard!

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