You are in a free country…

Question: I have a problem and I really need the answer and advice for it. I have this In-Law that loves to be the center of attention all the time. She gets upset and goes around trying to humiliate me, tell lies. Because first of all I have a premature son, and he is too young to be out in air, and arm to arm around alot of people. So she gets mad because I don’t let her do what she want to do, last time I let her keep him, she put it upon her own self to give him too much milk and my my baby very sick to where he couldn’t calm down. I made the bottles to where he drinks and she override my rules. She also is sick and stays sick, and she tries to pay like there is nothing wrong with her, now my premature son is sick! and is at risk for RSV! when she knew better to go around humiliating me when she knew not to hold or be around my son! So my question is what can I do to let her know she is not my child’s mother, she cannot do what she wants to do, and am not letting her hold him because she is sick! Also to let you know the baby’s father gets mad at me Because he says that I am acting funny towards his mother. I am so stressed out because I am tired of her and the baby’s father not understanding that I am the mother and that I have to protect him from anything and everything…I just need to know what exactly can I say to them. Please help me, you are right In-laws are a true problem and sometimes you just need help with them.
Answer: Lashell,
Last time I checked in the U.S. you are not required to do what your in-laws have said simply because they say it. So I would suggest you place clear boundaries on what is acceptable or not. The problem here is really not your in-laws it is the fact that your husband doesn’t seem to understand that he needs to protect you. Other than outright telling him I’m not sure of any other way to get him to protect you and the family. If he is a mammas boy then it is going to be up to you to let the MIL know when he can come over. If she comes over despite your warnings don’t answer the door. At some point she needs to respect your wishes.

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