Is this the man of your dreams???


Question: I am 27 years old and my boyfriend of 4 years is 34.  We have been living together for 2 years.  We just got back from a week vacation in Mexico where he proposed to me.  He gave me a “stand in ring” b/c he said he did not want to bring the real one on the trip.  When he asked we were on a beautiful beach having candle light dinner. He did not get down on his knee and he kind of made a joke of it.  He jokingly said he wanted a 2 year engagement.  I accepted but was a little confused about the whole thing.  It was so dry (not sure how else to explain it).  Afterwards when it started to sink it I asked when and how he would like to get married.  I have always said I did not expect a big wedding since my family does not have money.  He just got annoyed and said that I’m moving too fast (in a joking way).  Now that we are back home I asked him about the real engagement ring.  He said he had to get it from where ever it is he is keeping it.  When I asked again if he could give it to me tomorrow because I am excited to see it, he snapped at me.  I just don’t know what to think.  I already told  my mother but I kind of regret it because I just feel like his heart really isn’t in it.  I tried telling him that I wanted to feel happy and excited about the engagement but his attitude is really bringing me down.  He says its me with the problem and that he has other things to focus on like work, unlike me that will be home all day tomorrow picking my a$$ (his exact words).  Which by the way is untrue.  I took the day off of work to be able to do all of our laundry and clean the house after getting back from our vacation tonight.  Am I over reacting for is this maybe a clear sign that this is not going to work out?
 
Answer: Rita,
Is this really someone you want to spend the rest of your life with? What you describe is someone that proposed to you because he realized that you were getting impatient. It doesn’t seem from what you describe as a man in love. It seems again from what you describe he has zero respect for you. I am a bit confused as to why you would continue to stay with this guy. Statistics show that live-in relationships prior to marriage have a higher divorce rate. From what you describe this does not bode well for your future.

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