|Question:||My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. I have a habit of getting into long term relationships if it works at all with someone. Usually I lose interest or want to be on my own/date other people, before them and have to break it off. In hindsight, I know it was for the better because I know we weren’t right together. This time however, I think we are pretty darn good together. I’ve never felt this sure about a relationship. Yet still, although I love her and know we have something good, I’m getting restless. I broke it off with her yesterday, citing I needed a big ‘ole test. I need to see what its like on my own as an adult. Im 25 and feel like this is my first adult relationship. She is 25 too, but this is her ONLY relationship. ever. So for her too, I felt a test apart might shed some good or at least insight.
Usually what will happen is I play the feild for a little bit, then miss them and try to get them back. I usually do at some point. This time I’m pretty sure its going to happen, but as usual, am not expecting anything from her.
Basically, I know I could be making the mistake of my life this time and yet still feel the need to do it. Its almost a motivation to do it. Its because I’m scared of losing this forever that I feel it needs to happen.
Is this stupid? In a way I feel like I’m hurting us for no reason, and she says that I am, but when I really think about it, I just know I cant stay with her while thinking this way. I feel like it needs to happen. I won’t ever get married/be with someone for my whole life, so I just figure it should just happen. I know my feelings of wanting to be on my own will pass and I’ll be into the relationship again. But they will also come back up and always do, and get stronger until I have to do something. This time though, I know its happening while Im with a great girl for me.
Hope I got everything. I’m sure I repeated myself. So, sorry for that.
Any insights would help.
I’m just wondering if I’m missing something about myself or if I’m being rediculous…
The more you give into your FEELINGS, the more you will continue this behavior. If you went with your brain this type of behavior wouldn’t happen I imagine. It seems you have established somewhat of a habit and are unwilling to break it. If you continue this relationship with her I would STRONGLY suggest you go to a counselor to work through this issue. There may be something related to intimacy that you need to actually talk to someone about. I can’t tell you specifically if something is missing in your life. A face-to face counselor could help you determine that in short order.